i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
