3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
