This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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