I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
