Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize