member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
