I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The power of my boobs compel you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
