Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm bleeding and have questions
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
