if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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