I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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