k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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