Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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