Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
