I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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