so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
