My brain says no but my pants say off.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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