i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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