found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
