dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
