Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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