dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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