Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
