It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
