Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
