What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
