..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize