The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
