I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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