Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
