I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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