please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
