new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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