wat bout pragnant strippers??
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
