She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
