She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize