my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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