check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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