There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
