you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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