why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
