You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
