Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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