Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
