How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He has the fingertips of a God
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