i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
