he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
