im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
