Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
