Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize