also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize