Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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