how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
