You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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