Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
