I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
