i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize