I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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