this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
