So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
