Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They took my balls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
