i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
