Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
