I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
