brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
