hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
