I'm so fucking centered right now
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
