i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
