I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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