Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize