im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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