And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
