Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
