Who did Billy Mays play for?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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