Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize