Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
