So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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