i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This is my gift to your gina
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize