So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
